Groan

Very interesting chain of events began last night.  I had the privilege of sitting with some great friends.  One by one we shared our personal stories.  By the end of the night I was spent.  In a good way for sure.  It was so great to hear the real life from some of the best people.  Joy and suffering filled the room through words.  I have been around a lot of heavy stories this week.  

Looking forward to pulling the covers over my head and shutting down the world for a day last night I felt a tug from God.  I felt like I was supposed to play a particular song before drifted off to sleep.  In probably my most unique worship experiene I laid in bed, arms raised in the air repeating the song “Lord I Need You.”  It felt like a rescue as I repeated the words over and over again.  I could feel my anxious heart coming back.  

Not thinking much about it this morning I kicked off my day with a meeting and run with a good friend.  No more than half way home from my run what song pops on the radio?  Here it is again.  

Hmmm…that’s pretty weird.  

In tune from the following night when I was horizontal with the earth, I am back in this song again.  Just about as awkward but now I am lifting my arms up in the air in my car.  Fortunately I-70 is pretty empty at 8:30 on a Sunday morning so no one gets to see this. demonstration.  

Now I am intrigued…

Well…whatever, on with my day.  Kids and I race off to church.  We have a busy day coming up so I am focusing on what is about to happen.  My bedtime and early morning encounter around this song are long gone and I am moving with the masses once again.

Meet up with some good friends at church.  Almost like it was on cue I was walking through the hall and what pipes out of the sanctuary?

You guessed it…

A few years ago I learned that when life is kicking up God has sent many a rescue that I have not noticed or chose to pay attention to.  But a few years of some good personal growth and a slew of relearned moments, here it was.  So my next question is to Jesus.  “What are you up to?  You’ve brought this song three times in twelve hours.  I am listening”

Next thing that comes to mind is Romans 8:26-27

I had no idea what passage this was.  I remember a couple words out of this verse.  I knew that we, as privileged sons and daughters of the King of Kings, can cry out to God anytime we want.  What I lost track of is that our Spirit inside of us could call out to God in ways we do not understand.  And in some way I felt like my spirit was groaning.  God knew I was getting in trouble.  As stated below in one commentary: 

 “He intercedes for us.” “Intercede” means to pray for someone else. “Groanings” or “groans” expresses feelings of compassion for our weak condition. The Holy Spirit requests the Father’s help for us with deep compassion (cf. Eph. 6:18).

Equipped with an understanding of the verse I felt like Jesus was giving me I asked him what he is up to.  Why bring this song three times?

Stuck on the word “groaning” I asked my 12 year old daughter what she thought of when she heard the word

“birth dad, it sounds like birth.”

Oh…that’s it!  Birth.  For me when I think of the birth process it looks incredibly painful.  (duh says all the ladies)  I watched my wife suffer physically in ways I hope to never experience.  Even my incredibly bad timed humor could not break her out of this pain called “child birth.”  😉

But on the other end of 13 hours with our first and 2 hours with our second two of my greatest joys entered the world.  Abigail and Luke.  And at the end of pain came baby.  Quickly I realized that all the pain my wife endured produced the most joy one can take in.  

Pain and Joy
Cursing and Blessing

And here lies what the Father seemed to be up to.  See this week was taxing.  Many great friends are struggling.  Their storylines are in a season of struggle/worry/sadness.  I hurt for them.  I hurt with them.  And somehow in a way that I can’t understand their Spirit begins to cry out.  Believe it or not I had not much this week.  Overloaded and tired it got missed.  Sad?  Yes.  And last night weary and worn myself, my Spirit groaned for me.  Our spirit inside of us prays and sings in unpredictable but needed ways.  

I want joy to come yesterday into their stories so they can smile and laugh at life once again.  And as I have learned many times over, it is hard to see the whole forest when you are standing in the middle of the trees.  Not sure about you but the way I have grown closer to God over the years typically comes through pain.  

The lyrics in this song that I seem to keep coming back to are:

“Teach my song to rise to You
When temptation comes my way
And when I cannot stand I’ll fall on You
Jesus, You’re my hope and stay”

And I think the reason this mattered is because God has to teach my song to rise to Him.  Another reminder that something is happening in me that is good, but not controlled by me.  So I continue to engage this Jesus.  I know He helps my spirit cry out in ways I do not understand.  I know He cares deeply about the people I care about.  I know that he does see above the tree line and has not been out of control a day of His life.  

So…He groans.  And as long as He is groaning I will keep doing the same for my friends.

http://soniclight.com/constable/notes/htm/NT/Romans/Romans.htm